I’m not stupid, but: how do semicolons work?
Punctuation lovers are always complaining about the decline of the semicolon. It seems to be gradually disappearing from the printed word entirely, being replaced by the comma, which serves a related but different purpose. Sadly, the distinction between the comma and the semicolon is a really useful one for comprehending sentences correctly the first time. The rule for when to use a semicolon is actually really straightforward; once you know it, you’ll probably never confuse it and the comma again. Use a semicolon when you want to connect two strongly related phrases that could stand on their own as sentences. Here’s an example I saw on the Manchester Metrolink tram the other day. When a stop is announced, an LED marquee displays something like the...
My talks at Bettakultcha
Bettakultcha is a West Yorkshire phenomenon. Started by marketing genius Richard Michie and speaking expert Ivor Tymchak, it is a night of advert/sponsorship-free presentations on any subject at all, but set to a backdrop of 20 slides at 15 seconds per slide. I’ve had the fortune to speak at three such events. I’m by no means the star of the show, ever, but I think what I have to say is worth hearing! Bettakultcha Leeds V, 2nd November 2010 The first time I spoke was on common mistakes in the English language, and mnemonics for remembering how to fix them. Sadly, the video for this one is forever lost, but I’ve put the slides on Slideshare. Bettakultcha Leeds VIII, 12th April 2011 At this much larger event with an audience of about 200, I spoke...
“Gay” quarter
There’s a bit of buzz amongst the Leeds Twitterati about a proposal to designate a region of Leeds city centre as the “gay quarter”. Aside from the interesting discussion about politics and about whether singling out an area in this way is a good thing, which is all very interesting, I’d like to draw attention to the proposed name itself. Inclusive, tolerant, regions of cities in this country have historically found themselves labelled with the adjective gay, but in my opinion this is a dangerous and divisive anachronism. The term gay, when applied to a person, refers to a specific type of marginalized sexual minority: specifically, someone who is exclusively or primarily homosexual. In modern times, the term LGBT is preferred as more...
“Smartphones” are not phones
I’ve recently acquired a Samsung Galaxy S II Android “smartphone”, and I couldn’t be happier with it. All day long and wherever I am (more or less) I have unlimited access to my email, my social networks, the news, train times, price comparison, my todo list, my calendar, note-taking, shopping lists, sudoku, maps and a hundred other things that augment my life and improve my productivity. And then once in a while some smarmy git will say to me, “well, my phone makes voice calls.” And herein lies the problem with the language we use. Phones are supposed to make and receive voice calls, but my device is not a phone. It’s a palm-sized tablet PC with voice-calling capability. I probably wouldn’t miss voice calls much if...
I’m not stupid, but: what’s with “and I”?
Did you ever have an exchange like this with your parents when you were growing up? Me: “Me and Mark had a great idea.” Parent: “You mean, Mark and I had a great idea.” This “and I” meme is stuck in the heads of many of our generation, and all over the place I see people applying it as though it’s a hard and fast rule. It’s not. First, let’s deal with the order. Why is it “Mark and I” and not “I and Mark”? There’s no grammatical reason for this order at all, except that it sounds better to put the nouns before the pronouns. But here’s the awkward bit. Sometimes it’s “Mark and I” and sometimes it’s “Mark and me”. In fact, the grammatical...
Leeds-based non-binary nerd and sewist. I won't break my streak on Duolingo for anyone. 
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